I hated Christmas and I didn?t even realize it. I got sick a couple days before Christmas every year. I would be grumpy and upset, arguing about every petty thing possible, except for a couple hours during the meals, and that was only because I promised my wife. Then, one day, like a sledgehammer I got the message which changed my life.
It wasn?t that I hated Christmas eve, I hated what it represented to me. It represented urgency, frustration, and perfection. As kids, we had to (it felt like an order) to help in cooking, setting table, decorating the?tree and all that. The issue was, that my mom would always get super anxious to get everything perfect and on time and would be curt with us as the dinner time would near. Then my dad came home, usually grumpy, not a smile, and we would eat and open presents. So as I got older, I avoided this whole scene by getting sick and being out of commission. I could avoid the whole thing. It caused a huge issue with my wife?because Christmas for her was fun and light and no time constraints, no urgency. And I just wasn?t getting it, until one day it hit me. I was living in a world of expectations that didn?t exist.
Let me repeat that. I was living in a world of expectations that didn?t exist.
In fact, every single interaction I was having with my wife and kids was literally hard-coded with expectations!!! Interactions with family were being driven by expectations, filters, beliefs that a 5-year-old Stephen made about what Christmas means to him and I was hanging onto that like crazy!
Does that connect in some way??Is there something in your space now that is creating a negative feeling around Christmas?? Is this how you want to feel this Christmas? If not, I encourage you to discover who is the source of the feeling. Then do this simple exercise that has been around in Hawaii for millennia, which will help you get rid of those negative feelings.
Step 1. Think of the person who is the source of this negativity.
Step 2. While thinking of this person, keep repeat these words until the negative feelings are gone or at least weaker.
I?m Sorry. Forgive me. Thank You. I love you.
I?m Sorry. Forgive me. Thank You. I love you.?
This is called ho?oponopono. It’s a hawaiin method for healing emotional upset.?The hawaiin?s believe that we are jointly responsible for every upset in our lives. Why? Who is present in every one of your upsets? Who is there? It is you, isn?t it? You are the only one that is present in each of your upsets.
By taking responsibility, you now have the power to transform it to something different. And I am certain this is your true deep desire for something better.
Download the Christmas meditation here, in which I guide you through this.
Merry Christmas, Happy Chanuka, God Bless you this holiday.